This morning I woke up to a real nightmare. Yesterday I had set the alarm on my mobile phone to wake me up at 6.30 in the morning as usual. I knew when doing this that I probably would suffer a bit waking up since I went to bed way too late. But what the heck, it is only sleep, my last train of thought went before going to sleep. Oh, did I pay for this a couple of hours later!

Since my girlfriend wasn't getting up as early as me I had been particularly careful to set the alarm to use an increasing volume. Also I turned off the phone battery vibrator since this tends to make the whole room vibrate when the alarm rings, which even wakes up our cat Disa who usually sleeps at my feet.

Before I go on and tell you about my nightmarish wake up, I'll tell you about a previous experience with another brand from this particular mobile phone manufacturer. That mobile phone screamed out with a terrible melody whenever the battery was getting low. In most cases, this is probably a good thing since you really want to make sure this never happens. But with this particular mobile phone, it was not configurable to turn this feature off. So naturally, the alarm woke us up in the middle of the night on a number of occasions.

Eventually I managed to learn that phones' user pattern to take the battery out before going to sleep. Or even better, plug in the electric charger... Anyways, I think most people would value sleep over the mobile phone not running out of battery.

So, back to my devilish wake-up this morning. At 6.30 this morning the mobile phone alarm started ringing at a low volume as should be. Unfortunately the alarm went off during the wrong time of my sleep cycle so I was really dead tired with most of my brain neurons still sound asleep. I also woke up finding that my left arm was missing. I could not find it anywhere.

As the sound of the alarm screamed louder and louder, I slowly realised that my arm was gone because I could not move it. It was completely lame. I did not feel it anymore.

This can happen if you sleep with the arm in a weird position for a long time. It will wake up again and becoming fully functional after a couple of minutes of free dangling time. So I actually did not panic. Yet.

So that leaves me with one arm and a tenth of my normal brain power to turn off the phone. Piece of cake you would think?

A regular alarm clock usually has one big “turn-off-alarm button” that is easy to find. This morning I realized that there is a reason for this. In my delirious dreamy state, I started pushing all the buttons all at once on the phone with my functional hand. But nothing happened. Instead the alarm started to ring louder and louder. With a steady arising panic I begun to realize that the alarm would never ever again be turned off. I would have to live the rest of my days with this noise ringing louder and louder in my ears.

So I fumbled on in my quest to turn the damn thing off rushing out of the room, stumbling over poor Disa who for a second managed to scream louder than the phone. Perhaps if I poured water on top? (on phone, not cat!) The electronics probably doesn't like this so that would probably work.

Fortunately, my brain power was slowly booting up again so I never fulfilled my idea. Instead my one hand remembered the old trick and after lots of struggling (one hand!), I managed to pull the plug out of the sound by removing the battery.

Phew! Silence! Finally!

But the screaming alarm was still reverberating in my head with anguishing anxiety. And I knew that my girlfriend was probably lying in her bed cursing me and only me for this! Well I curse the phone in turn!

Ok, so having woken up a bit and sitting here at breakfast with my beloved cop of coffee, again being able to hold it with two hands, I think I realized what went so terribly wrong this morning. Firstly, I now grasp that I sometimes never will learn how to turn the alarm off the ordinary way. Especially not so with one tenth of my brain power and one arm at my disposal. Secondly, for some reason the phone key lock is sometimes not lifted when the alarm goes off. This is clearly a software bug since normally, one only has to puch any button to turn the alarm off. Devastating bug I would say... And if it is not a bug and if there is a logical explanation to it, well even worse. If I find this to be the case, I might even reveal what brand of mobile phone it is in this blog post.

Some thoughts on the future of mobile phones

Mobile phone companies have started to talk a lot lately about turning the mobile phone into a generic all-in-one toolkit; kind of like a Swiss army knife. Keys, credit cards, you name it. I would love for this to happen. But I also would love the phone software developers to think in turns of how these devices are actually used in each scenario. Why is there a big button on the alarm clock and how can this be simulated better and always work on a mobile phone?

These type of questions, I think is always extra important to ask for product manufacturers. And particularly so when they are to support a new functionality that it originally was not designed to support. As in simulating an alarm clock when you are in fact a mobile phone.

Naturally, looking back at this morning I laugh about my desperate attempts to turn the alarm off. But I also think that I never will buy a mobile phone from this particular manufactorer again. But then again. Perhaps I will. I am usually less cranky after I have finished my morning cop of coffee.